18 weeks!

We are officially 18 weeks pregnant today!  I have been making myself crazy worrying and worrying about the baby.  We are almost halfway there and I am feeling great!  We had an OB appointment yesterday and the doctor had a difficult time finding the heartbeat on the doppler.  After a few minutes of moving around and pushing (really hard!), he decided an ultrasound would be better.  Well, wouldn't it figure that the ultrasound lady was walking out the door.  The computers were shut down and her office was empty!  Luckily he was able to catch her at the door and we were able to catch a glimpse of our beautiful little dumpling.  The baby's heart was beating at 151 bpm, and we felt so much relief! 
DH's birthday was on Sunday and I think he had a nice weekend.  He went to the UFC fan expo in Boston on Friday and met his favorite fighter.  Mike Swick autographed something for him, and personalized it for him.  I think that was cool of him to do.  DH said all the fighters and everyone who worked there were all very nice and talked with him.  DH's family came down on Saturday.  We had dinner of mac and cheese and ham steaks with his Mom and Dad, his sister and of course, our nephew.  He is getting to be such a big guy.  He's 2 1/2 and just growing!  He loves to go swimming so Mom-Mom and I took him over to the pool on Saturday and DH and I took him over on Sunday.
I took yesterday off to spend the day with DH to complete his birthday weekend, and he took me to Babiesrus!  he knows how much I love to go and look at all the baby stuff.  We took an old stroller we had with us and traded it in for 25% off of something.  You can only use the coupon on certain things, and the only thing on the whole list that we still needed was the car seat.  So we went back and looked at the car seats.  We were stuck between 3 different ones.  I knew we wanted a convertible, one that would go from 5 lbs up to 60 or so pounds.  I also wanted an extended rear facing car seat.  We finally decided on the Evenflo Triumph LX Convertible Car Seat in Oh!  It is a gorgeous seat and will work well with either sex.
We also decided last night that we are not going to find out the sex of the baby.  After a lot of thinking and talking about it, we decided it is the last big surprise in life and it won't change anything either way!  We are going to be ecstatic no matter what we have, and all of our baby gear is gender neutral.  I also have quite a few gender neutral outfits hanging in the closet already and a go home outfit, so we don't have any good reason to find out!  We just want to be surprised!
ALSO!  I lost a pound!  Which means in the 18 weeks of my pregnancy so far, I have only gained 4 pounds!  And my blood pressure is a perfect 120/80!  So I am feeling good and hoping the rest of my pregnancy goes well!

16 week ultrasound!

We got our long awaited 16 week ultrasound yesterday, and I am so happy to announce that things are going well!  Our little dumpling is growing big and strong.  Weighed in at 6 oz, measuring 16 weeks, 4 days.  Heart was beating at 150 bpm, which is a little slower than we are used to, but normal!  We were able to see 2 arms, 2 hands, 2 legs and 2 feet.  We have a 3 vessel cord which is wonderful and no signs of any problems or issues.  I had refused all prenatal testing as far as bloodwork, amnio's and a cvs.  The ultrasound tech did measure the nuchal fold, which was 2.54.  I think they measure it and just don't tell you, but I knew what she was doing.  I've been going back and forth on getting the AFP bloodwork to check for things like spina bifida and down syndrome.  The problem I have with these types of tests are the false positives.  I do not want to spend my pregnancy needlessly worrying about whether my baby might have a problem or might not.  I have the bloodwork slip, and it needs to be done before 20 weeks, so I have approx. 3 weeks to decide.  I guess I'll decide and have it done around the 30th which is my next OB appointment. 
I am also so excited to inform you that I have only gained 5 lbs this whole pregnancy.  I didn't gain anything from my appointment 3 weeks ago to yesterday.  I have been eating like a crazy lady so I was very surprised!  I would be happy to not gain anything the whole pregnancy, but I have a feeling I'll be packing on the pounds in a few months! 
Next: 2 pictures of our beautiful little baby!

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Beautiful profile!

Disappointing 1st OB appointment

Well, I was unimpressed with the new OB's office I picked.  They were very friendly, but made us wait a long time in the room.  I met a midwife who tried to find the baby's heartbeat on the doppler, but couldn't.  Then she asked me to wait 5 weeks to schedule an ultrasound!  Crazy!  You know my history and you have to understand that I am a worrier.  It's what I do, constantly!  Worry, worry, worry.  So should I worry for the next 5 weeks?  No my friend, I will not.  So, I scheduled an ultrasound for the 18th, and will get another one around 20 weeks if all goes well.  I'm hoping they can see the gender at the scan on the 18th, as I will be 16 weeks (but since I have been measuring 5 days ahead, the baby should be 16 weeks, 5 days or so). 
So now with nothing to occupy my time except work and home, I'm stressing.  I should have pushed for an earlier scan, or should have pushed to try longer with the doppler. 
We shall see what happens in 19 days. 

So last night DH and I went to the store to look for a couple of things.  As you know, I am obssesive about baby stuff so the first and only place I go to is the baby section.  I end up buying 3 things.  A piggy bank (yellow with pooh bear and a dragonfly), a nursing pillow, and a baby's 1st year calendar with stickers.  We got good deals on all of it and the more we buy now, the less we have to buy later! 

Something funny happened when we got home from the store.  I, of course, take everything out to look at it and start looking at the calendar.  I flip to the back to look at all the stickers and immediately get sad.  On the Visiting Grandparents sticker there is a dragonfly.  I start to cry and DH says that means that your Mom is here.  She loved dragonflies and winnie the pooh.  She even had a Pooh tattoo.  It just means so much that that particular sticker has a dragonfly.  None of the other ones did, just that one.  Prettty amazing, right? 

We also decided to change the nursery set to something gender neutral.  DH and I went to BabiesRus the other weekend to take a look at car seats and cribs.  He went to the back to sit in the recliners and gliders while I looked at the clothing and when I went to the back to get him to go home he said, I think I want to change the bedding.  We had originally picked sports for a boy and dragonflies for a girl.  Well they had this beautiful classic Winnie the Pooh bedding set that just looked gorgeous.  It was very gender neutral and had not only classic pooh, but dragonflies on it as well.  I fell in love with it.  We ended up buying the wall decals that night so we could see how it would look.  I think it is going to be wonderful!  Now, I will leave you with some pictures. 
This is the new bedding:
http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=4013801&fromRegistryNumber=97733490&product_skn=211793

Also, the nursing pillow I picked up last night, very soft and cuddly:
http://www.walmart.com/ip/Leachco-Cuddle-U-Nursing-Pillow-and-More-Bubbles/10972966

Hopefully, I can curb my spending and not pick anything else up this month!

12 weeks, 5 days....2nd trimester here we come!

Ok, so today I am 12 weeks, 6 days....but the baby measured 12 weeks, 5 days yesterday!  Growing perfectly and very content to relax and wallow in my belly!  The doctor even said we must have rocked the baby to sleep before our appointment.  She was as relaxed as you can get.  Heart was beating at a wonderful 161 bpm, and it took a little while to get her to wiggle around.  She was waving at us and sucking on her hand.  It was marvelous to watch!  I am so blessed to have an RE's office that cares so much, they let us just sit there and watch the baby for a little while.  It was an amazing experience.  On that note, yesterday was my last appointment at the RE's!  I officially graduated from their office yesterday.  Measuring ahead and baby is doing great.  I have my first OB appointment next Thursday, it is going to be strange to not get an ultrasound every week now!  Hopefully we get to hear the heartbeat next Thursday at least.  I will be a nervous wreck all the time!  Tomorrow I will officially be in my 2nd trimester, and it feels wonderful!  I will keep you updated on appointments and such, but am just going to enjoy being pregnant!  I am busy buying stuff and planning on the future.  We got the highchair this week, it was delivered yesterday.  I can't wait to set up the bassinett, I figure I'll get DH to do that around 20 weeks or so.  It is exciting to think in less than 200 days we'll have our baby!  I'm planning on end of January, not beginning of February now.

Little legs, pot belly and ankles crossed!

Profile, sucking on her hand

Waving hi to Mommy and Daddy!

11 weeks 5 days!

We are measuring ahead, 11 weeks 5 days.  That would make me 12 weeks tomorrow!  I am getting so excited.  We were able to see the baby moving around and dancing.  Baby kept looking right at the ultrasound like what the heck is that!  We also got a cute butt shot.  Baby mooned us!  We are feeling so blessed right now (as usual!).  The only complaint I have is that I am sore!  The right side of my body is sore!  I haven't done anything out of the ordinary, so I'm not sure what the problem is!  Oh well!  Some new pictures of our cutie patootie to enjoy!  My last RE appointment is next Wednesday...the I graduate to the regular OB!  Yay!  I'm excited!

9 weeks!

We have officially made it to 9 weeks, 2 days!  It is a wonderful thing.  The heart was beating at 170 bpm, and the doctors office said it would be fine to wait 2 weeks to come back in.  So, my next ultrasound is July 14.  They also asked me to think about whether we want to get the 1st trimester screening or not.  They would do the ultrasound and the bloodwork between 11 and 13 weeks.  The next time I go in I should be 11 weeks 2 days, so I may just get it done.  It won't matter what the results say, I will have our baby whether they find something or not.  There is a reason why we have been blessed with this baby, so any "issues" that come up, we will deal with!  We love our tiny little baby so much!

We heard the heartbeat!

We are so excited to share that we heard our tiny little ones heartbeat today!  It was beating away at 163 BPM.  The doctor said normal is anywhere between 130 and 180, so we are doing well.  We also measured at 8 weeks 2 days this morning, so the baby is growing perfectly.  We go in again next Wednesday for another ultrasound, so hopefully our little miracle keeps growing away! 
I made my first OB appointment for July 29th, and I will be about 13 weeks pregnant.  I am just about 27 days away from 2nd trimester, and I can't wait!  I am so exhausted all the time.  And hungry! 
I feel so blessed to be given this beautiful little miracle growing inside me, I am just sending my prayers everyday.  4 years ago around this time, we found out our little one stopped growing at 8 weeks and was no longer with us.  We were devastated, but we are so grateful to be given this opportunity again. 
I will update again after our next ultrasound!

2nd ultrasound!

We had our second ultrasound done yesterday, and the doctor said the baby looks great!  The heart was just beating away.  It was a beautiful sight!  This time, you can actually see a baby!  I am beyond ecstatic!  I cannot wait to meet our little miracle baby in a few months.  The doctor isn't coming down to this office next week, so I am driving up 2 hours to his office up north in order to get an ultrasound done.  I thought I might be OK to wait until the week after, but I am stressing as it is just waiting a week!  Well, here is our tiny little baby!

Look what we made!

We have a heartbeat, and a beautiful 6 week 1 day baby growing!
We go back in 1 week to look at our beautiful baby! 

Went a little crazy!

So, I know it is super early and we are just getting to 6 weeks pregnant, but DH and I went a little crazy this weekend at BabiesRus!  Or should I say, I went a little crazy!  We picked out our crib and furniture for the nursery.  We have a wonderful registry set up on Amazon and BabiesRus and JCPenney! 
I did purchase the bassinet, which I love and can't wait to see in person.  We also bought a whole crap load of our Method Baby soap and lotions. 
I love this stuff, it smells so nice.  I love that it is 99% natural ingredients too.
method baby Squeaky Green Hair + Body Wash, Rice Milk + Mallow 8 fl oz (236 ml)
I was able to find a whole set of body wash, lotion, diaper rash cream, method baby laundry detergent, hand soap and cleaner for $15!  What a deal!
I washed the clothes we bought yesterday in the laundry detergent, and they smell so good!
method Laundry Detergent, For Baby, 32 Loads 32 oz (946 ml)
I had a coupon for detergent so I got a bottle fo regular method laundry detergent to use on our clothes, and I like it.
I just keep hoping that everything goes well, and I am so excited about our ultrasound on Wednesday.  It's not until about 3 in the afternoon, so it is going to be forever!  I will keep you updated and I really hope everything goes really well!

It's official!

We saw the doctor yesterday and it is official! My hcg was greater than 3000, which is wonderful! My progesterone was 19, which is perfectly normal. I am on progesterone supplements though to make sure it doesn't drop and cause a miscarriage.
We are sending up prayers everyday for our little bean to stay in there and grow big and strong. I am terrified to have another miscarriage, but I am also trying so hard to enjoy being pregnant! This time it is a wonderful, joyful experience and I want to be a happy pregnant lady.
I go in for an ultrasound next week (Wednesday) and I will be exactly 6 weeks. Hopefully we can see our little bean and maybe a heartbeat!!! I will keep you updated and let you know how telling our families goes. We have some really cute ideas and hopefully I can post some pictures.

I will tell you that I purchased a bassinet for myself today. I had to have it, and it is on sale! they don't sell it at babies r us anymore, and it has been slowly disappearing from other sites, so I figured by the time we have our baby in February it may not be available! So, I did it! I bought it! And I am glad I did!

http://www.fisher-price.com/fp.aspx?st=2014&e=zen-product&pid=43987

Isn't it beautiful? Have a wonderful week and I will update after my ultrasound!!!

You'll never guess what we just found out!!!

Doctor's appointment

Well, I had another doctor's appointment yesterday and lo and behold......I didn't gain or lose a single pound in 3 weeks! We decided it was time for a fill! I was freaked out about it, but it didn't hurt one little bit. It sounded weird, but didn't hurt. I got 3 cc's put in my band and am on soft chewable foods today. I had a protein drink this morning and a yogurt. I have chili for lunch and then I'll see how I feel.
I'm hoping to join the gym this week or next and get our rear ends over there!
We went to visit with my Momma and say Happy Birthday and it looked like a tornando hit her area! Both windchimes were mangled on the ground (broken beyond repair), her flag was bleached and beat up from the sun and wind and her statue was tipped over. The winnie the pooh wind sock was no where to be found. It was a good thing I brought a new windchime and flag for her! We are currently looking for ideas on how to make her beach better. Right now she has sand from Florida in front of the headstone. We have the black weed paper underneath and a green plastic thing in a circle in front holding the sand in. The sand just looks bad, it gets all nasty. We are trying to think of a way to make it look better. Dave said maybe get a plastic container and make a beach scene and put it in front. I just don't know! We will figure it out!
I hope everyone has a wonderful day!

Sad day

Today is my beautiful Momma's birthday! I love and miss her so much. It is tearing me up inside. It will be 7 years in June that she passed away and so much has changed. I so desperately want her to be here. I wanted her to meet Dave and to be here when we had our miscarriage. I want her to be around for her grandbabies (if we are blessed enough!). I'm just having a tough time, I feel so angry. The range of emotions that I am dealing with today is incredible. I am sad, angry, pissed off, frustrated, terrified and everything in between!

I am so scared that I will forget her, that our babies will never know what a wonderful person she was. Sometimes I feel like the only person in the world who thinks about her (although I know that is so not true)

Nobody really knows this, but I have 3 younger siblings. They are my mom and ex step dad's kids. I haven't seen them since the summer my Mom passed away. So every year it's like remembering not just 1 person I love, but 3 more. I wish I could see them but circumstances between their father and me are not good. When my Mom passed my youngest brother was only 5. My sister was 7 and my brother was 9. They were so little, and I worry that they won't remember or know who she was. They need to know that she was a wonderful, caring, beautiful woman who loved her kids more than life. She wanted to do nothing more than take care of her kids and give them everything. We struggled, money was always an issue, but we wanted for nothing. She always made sure we had what we needed. So today is the day we all say Happy Birthday to the best Mom in the world. The one I emulate and I hope to be like her if we are blessed with babies.

Happy Birthday Mom!!!

Blah, blah, blah

I am just having a blah week. Nothing exciting happening (besides our 1st anniversary on Monday), and not feeling great. I just feel blah. I am excited about our anniversary and I can't wait to enjoy our night out and our day together and the gifts! We are going out to dinner the night before, then on Monday I am taking a half day and we are just going to relax and celebrate just the 2 of us. I will make a nice dinner and we will eat our cake and open presents!
I think I am feeling so blah because we have yet another month down. It is officially cycle number 45 for us. That means we are over 3 years now trying to conceive. It doesn't seem like that long, but then again it seems like forever. When will it be our turn? Will we have to spend thousands and thousands of dollars to realize our dream of becoming parents? Will we never be able to get pregnant (and stay pregnant)? I guess I am just feeling sorry for myself.
Stop it! Enough! I need to get my butt to the gym and start losing more weight. We need to just go about our daily lives and enjoy each other and enjoy being married. That's it, I'm done ttc for right now. I am going to enjoy life and enjoy my husband and get healthy! All the while I will look at baby stuff and try to make that ache in my heart go away.
Good luck to everyone ttc and I hope everyone has a wonderful week!

Update

I went to the doctors on Thursday, and I have lost another 4 pounds in 2 weeks. This is perfect! I am supposed to lose 1-2 lbs per week with the band. So I am right on target. This brings my total up to 56 lbs. I am about 30 lbs away from my first goal, and 170 away from my total goal. I hope to lose the 30 lbs by mid summer, and an additional 60-70 by the end of 2010. Dh and I are joining the gym down the street so I can bump up the weigth loss.
We are currently on cycle #45 of ttc. I am going to concentrate on losing weight and loving my husband. I think I will stop keeping track of everything and just go with it. If, by the time I have reached my weight loss goal we still aren't pregnant or have a baby, I will go back to Dr. Russell and start IUI's.
Well, I am off to eat my breakfast. Have a wonderful week!

New house pictures!

The first picture is the beautiful set of windows in our master suite (it feels so weird to say that!). The second picture is the view from the living room into the kitchen! The third and fourth pictures are of the kitchen .


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This is the beautiful kitchen! It is so wonderful to have such a large amount of counter space and the cabinets! The one to the left of the dishwasher is empty still, as are all the top shelves in every cabinet because I can't reach them!

I just wanted to share this with you. We are so blessed and feel so fortunate to have such a wonderful place to live!

Tomorrow is my 6 week post op appointment with the surgeon. I am super nervous about getting on the scale! I want to post a picture from October and then a picture DH just took, but I am too nervous! I will update after the appointment!

I can't figure out why the pictures and the text are so funky, oh well!

Celebrations!

Our first wedding anniversary is fast approaching! We are going to celebrate the night before at the restaurant we got married at. Then we are going to eat the top tier of the cake on May 3! It feels like we've been married forever, and who can remember what life was like before I met the most wonderful person in the world?
I go to the doctor on Thursday for my 6 week post op appointment. I am eating better and staying full for much longer. My breakfasts consist of:
1 hard boiled egg
1 oz almonds
3 slices apple
8 grapes
4 tbls peanut butter
1 mini multigrain bagel
It usually takes me 1/2 hour or so to eat it all, and it usually keeps me full for 3-4 hours. For lunch I have a salad, some fruit or some easy mac. I hve an afternoon snack of wheat thins and cheese or fruit. Dinner has been homemade (YAY!), mostly chicken with a side and a veg, sometimes beef or turkey. Sometimes we still order in or go out, but we have been enjoying dinner at home with each other. It is so nice to have a beautiful home to be in. I am going to post pictures tonight of the kitchen. We are so blessed.
I am planning to POAS on our anniversary if AF doesn't show her ugly head by then. What a wonderful anniversary present that would be!
I think if this month is a bust, I just want to concentrate on being healthier and being thankful for all we have. We have so much to be thankful for!
Have a wonderful week!

Moving Down!

We are officially in our new home (and it is so beautiful!), and I am officially at my new job! We are slowly working on getting the house together. It is coming along, just have to find storage space for stuff you don't use on a daily basis but need to keep, you know? Old pictures, sentimental stuff you can't get rid of, and if you are crazy like me.....baby stuff you've been collecting for 3+ years since a miscarriage. It's ridiculous the amount of baby stuff we already have!
I mean we have a stroller/car seat combo, crib bedding set, monitor, a bunch of clothes and a pooh bear towel, a bunch of toys that were given to us, and not to mention a hammock/glider thingy I got at a garage sale on day. I am obsessed! "Normal" people do not collect baby stuff in an effort to curb the heart wrenching desire to have a child! Only people who are dealing with infertility understand the obssesion with baby "stuff". I think I have done more research into what is good, what is bad, what's new, what's being discontinued, what I want, what I need and what I have to have........IF we become pregnant and have a baby!
It makes me crazy, and I know it drives DH crazy. He will ask me over and over, why do you do that to yourself? Why are you looking at baby stuff? Why?????? I wish I had the answer! I wish it wasn't such an intense almost physical urge to look at baby stuff! Hopefully I am not the only loony one out there (but I probably am!).
In regards to my weigth loss, I am eating my protein now instead of drinking it and I hope it's working. DH and I went on a nice walk around our new neighborhood last night. We met some super friendly people down the street with 2 very cute little pups. It's nice to live in an area where people can let their kids ride their bikes and play outside like we used to when we were young. We went and peeked at the pool, and it is big! I can't wait to swim!!!
Well, now that I have rambled and rambled about nothing.....have a blessed week!!