Today is my beautiful Momma's birthday! I love and miss her so much. It is tearing me up inside. It will be 7 years in June that she passed away and so much has changed. I so desperately want her to be here. I wanted her to meet Dave and to be here when we had our miscarriage. I want her to be around for her grandbabies (if we are blessed enough!). I'm just having a tough time, I feel so angry. The range of emotions that I am dealing with today is incredible. I am sad, angry, pissed off, frustrated, terrified and everything in between!
I am so scared that I will forget her, that our babies will never know what a wonderful person she was. Sometimes I feel like the only person in the world who thinks about her (although I know that is so not true)
Nobody really knows this, but I have 3 younger siblings. They are my mom and ex step dad's kids. I haven't seen them since the summer my Mom passed away. So every year it's like remembering not just 1 person I love, but 3 more. I wish I could see them but circumstances between their father and me are not good. When my Mom passed my youngest brother was only 5. My sister was 7 and my brother was 9. They were so little, and I worry that they won't remember or know who she was. They need to know that she was a wonderful, caring, beautiful woman who loved her kids more than life. She wanted to do nothing more than take care of her kids and give them everything. We struggled, money was always an issue, but we wanted for nothing. She always made sure we had what we needed. So today is the day we all say Happy Birthday to the best Mom in the world. The one I emulate and I hope to be like her if we are blessed with babies.
Happy Birthday Mom!!!
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