Life as a Mom

My life as a Mom consists of:
-feeding the baby
-changing the baby
-watching the baby sleep
I love it!  Baby is growing so well, at her last appointment she weighed 8 lbs 4 oz and had grown a 1/4 of an inch!  She is getting so big.  Exactly 4 weeks old today and I am getting sad at the thought of going back to work in 2 short weeks.  My OB's office lied and are basically screwing me out of 6 whole paid weeks I have available.  I am super upset with them and will not be returning to their office for an subsequent appointments.  I have one more appointment with them next week and I can't guarantee I will be anything less than a bitch!  They've never really been very pleasant and I probably should have found another OB early in my pregnancy, but I stuck with it hoping my attitude and the fact that I am never anything but nice and kind to them would change them.  It didn't and every week I would be so frustrated with how rude the nurses were.  Oh well, I guess I just learned a lesson.
I am really sad though.  I am really not ready to go back to work at all.  I wish I could afford to stay home for a few weeks without pay.  I envy all the stay at home Mom's out there.  I'm sure it can be frustrating and it's far from an easy job.....but I hope you all realize how blessed you are to be able to stay home with your beautiful babies.  I'm jealous. 

I also wish someone would have been honest with me about breastfeeding.  I didn't realize how amazing, frustrating, powerful and small breastfeeding could make you feel.  I have officially made it 1 whole month.  11 more to go.  My goal is 1 year with no formula for baby girl.  DH and I both feel it is the healthiest decision for our baby.  But, I still struggle with it somedays.  Especially nights.  We do have a canister of formula on the counter, along with a box of rice cereal.  For some reason, girls on both sides of our familes have either come home from the hospital on rice cereal or have had to start it very shortly after birth.  My Mom started me on rice at 2 weeks old, my SIL was started at 2 days old, my aunt came home on rice cereal.  It's like she is just not getting full and it can be very frustrating.  I feel like my body is not doing its job properly because my baby is still hungry even after eating for an hour this morning. 
I need to go get my breast pump from the lactation consultant.  It's going to cost us $245 for the Medela PIS.  We are going to the WIC office tomorrow morning to see if we qualify.  I hate to take assistance, but I haven't gotten paid in 4 weeks and we could use the help.  I know they like it when Mom's breastfeed vs. formula feed so I am hoping they might pay for part or all of the breast pump. 
All in all I would say my life is darn good.  Beautiful baby girl, wonderful husband.  What more could I ask for?  Blessed!